Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Halloween Horror Night

Did y'all dress up for Halloween yesterday or this past weekend? I was a haunted housewife... Actually I just was a scared housewife and no that wasn't a costume.

It went a little something like this...

I bought candy but decided to bring it to work with me to give out to the kiddos rather than keeping at home. You see, last year I excitedly bought gobs of candy and ended up with 5 cavities (I wish I was kidding) from eating it all because we got a grand total of ZERO TOTS (trick or treaters).

A little background info for you: Floridians are bogus. They do these annoying fake Halloween things like "trunk or treats" in church parking lots or "walking our kids around outdoor malls collecting candy from panera and shoe land and pretending that is the same as real Halloween" or having a fall festival with costumes "unrelated" to Halloween in celebration of autumn. Seriously. Bogus.

ANYhow, seeing as how I am IN Florida and had no Halloween luck last year I was not expecting any TOTS, whatsoever. Thus you can imagine my complete and utter shock (and slight horror, there was really horror) when the following happened.

I was on my way out to my car in the dark while holding not one but two bags, my purse and Teeny's leash and I was also on the phone. Because of all of this, when I opened the door I wasn't really paying attention and looked up directly into the haunted eyes of two teenagers and their mom standing about 5 inches from my face... Just starring at me. They startled me so badly I seriously jumped 2 feet and yelled at them "OMG you scared me!"

They persisted with the staring. I stammered out a question about had they had rung the doorbell? More blank stares and some ghoulish nodding. That's about the time when I regained my wits and remembered that they actually wanted something from me. And that's also right around the time that I remembered I didn't have anything for them.

I'm not sure which was scarier... The shock of having them standing practically in my doorway as I was walking out of it or how fast they dipped out when I said the words "so I don't have any..." I really didn't even have time to rummage through my cupboards for an acceptable candy substitue, although, I would have had like a box of quinoa and some almonds to give them. Somehow, I don't think that would have really done the trick (no pun intended).

After they were gone, I genuinely felt bad that I didn't have candy for my very first, true Florida Halloween TOTS. I felt like a disappointment to the traditionalists out there and just one more reason for people to head to the malls with their little princesses and superheros in tow. Mostly I just felt bad because fight or flight had kicked in and all of the adrenaline in my body settled nervously in my stomach.

What I learned from this spooky experience:
1) Don't complain about lazy tradition followers if you yourself are not going to help uphold the tradition.
2) Always, always look out the door as you are exiting it.
3) Have candy on hand. At all times.

Hope you had a great holiday. Welcome to November!


Shells said...

What?? They didn't tee-pee or silly string your abode since you didn't pay the treat??? We took our little princess and brave knight traditional trick or treating and the streets weren't completely deserted. So, happy to say: not everyone does the way lame trunk and treat or mall schtick.

MrsFord said...

Pictures please! I was expecting the tee-pee but there was none. Nary a square on our lawn, thankfully. ;)

Shells said...

Nary a square. What is up with kids today?? We were always armed with soap bars and silly strings--but never had the need to use them. Will send pics, but I dumped my old email provider and of course techo-genius that I am, I couldn't figure out how to transfer my address book--sooo I don't have your email anymore!!